The Lounge

I've kidnapped Santa and he will be held at an un-disclosed location until 26th Dec, where he will be tortured on an hourly basis with tickling feathers on the soles of his feet until all his HO HO HO has been Ha Ha Ha'd out of him!

Rudolph is roasting nicely on my spit as we speak......who wants the nose?

all Santa's little helpers have been bound and gagged, they will be tortured by getting their ears pierced with a leather punch.....I believe piercings are all the rage!

And all the kiddies letters have and will be returned to sender!

Whatcha gonna do about it HA HA HA!

"Lets out an almighty evil cackle Maw A ha ha ha"

Yippee, do you need some cookies to feed him while he is your captive? 
If he is too much trouble we can take care of him in the after hours chat.

Don't need a red nose, but will take some reindeer steaks.

If he's going to be tortured, he shouldn't get any cookies.  Maybe stuff him full of a veggie curry instead.

Can I whack him with a pillow?

Christmas was cancelled a while ago.

Excellent enforcement, though - Santa's been given a pass for far too long. 

Never fearrrrrr.....Santa's bodyguard is hear....

unhand him evil doers!!!!!!!!!....you'll never get away with it!!!!!

*Cape flying in the wind*

Don't worry....Jesus will save Santa.  ;-)

The lunatics are running the asylum.

When you asked who wanted the nose, all I could think of was the Family Guy episode when the doctor tells Rudolph that his nose looks like that because it's a malignant inoperable brain tumor. haha.

I thought it was funny.

I told my kids that you kidnapped Santa. They are now, once again, dressed up as The Underpants Gang. They have special super powers from the underpants they are wearing on their heads and the socks on their hands. They are armed with light sabers, shields, swords, and large spoons stolen out of my kitchen drawer. Be warned, they are coming to rescue Santa! The Underpants Gang rides again!

My favorite photograph of Christmas is the one where Santa kneels down next to baby Jesus and gives him a present - a set of legos logos

"Pooh Pooh to the Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then? Well...in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!

Fah who foraze!
Dah who doraze!
Welcome Christmas,
come this way!
Fah who foraze!
Dah who doraze!
Welcome Christmas,
Christmas Day!

Welcome, welcome!
Fah who rahmus!
Welcome, welcome!
Dah who dahmus
Christmas Day,
Is in our grasp,
So long as we,
Have hands to clasp!

I *heart* Nomo. 

if  nobody else wants it, i'll take the nose. i'll stick it on a plastic ring and make a snazzy ruby-like ring. and i'll take a nice reindeer steak, too. with a side of elf entrails marinated in ouzo (soften those suckers up).

*cue Buddy the elf to save Christmas... again*

buddy, the underpants gang, jesus, superman, and santa's bodyguard are all too late. i borrowed a giant, super-jumbo-sized blowtorch from andie and razed christmastown to smoldering embers. it's all charcoal bits and smoke now. black, choking smoke is swirling above spindly, destroyed workshops and elf dorms. the cold, white silence surrounds you.

christmas is NO MORE....

*sneaks into thread; hangs mistletoe all around; drapes strings of white lights all over the walls; sets out a groaning board laden with christmas treats and copious amounts of spiked egg nog*

*grabs santa (picture link censored, not safe for work) and flees the scene to an undisclosed location*

Original Post by dalmalama:

christmas is NO MORE....

 What are you going to do about the zombies?  That naughty list is going to come in handy for the big guy come dinner time.

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

*sneaks into thread; hangs mistletoe all around;

You try to warn someone...sheesh - everyone else, cover eyes and ears:

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone

*distant Nooooooooooooooooo heard coming from undisclosed location*

zombies, santo? zombies? how you gonna have zombies w/ no bodies? it's all dust, man. gone.

but just in case, give any stragglers one to the cranium. christmas zombies die the same as labor day zombies.